


I'd Cheat Like A Motherf*cker

by DeadFreddie



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Angst, Swearing, Way Bros, also there's no romance, but don't worry nobody dies, danger days lore is involved as well, i couldn't decide who their mentor should be so i never gave them a name, i feel like i should tag for violence but there isn't as much as you'd expect, i was thinking Brian Schechter or someone like that, just dudes being adoptive brothers, or literal brothers, what do y'all think? idk if that's even important really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 12:06:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18637798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadFreddie/pseuds/DeadFreddie
Summary: It’s the first year that Mikey is old enough to have his name put in for the Reaping, and Gerard tells him it’s fine, he almost definitely won’t be chosen.  Gerard’s name has been in there for years and it’s never been drawn.  He reassures them both because he knows he has to seem calm or else he’ll scare Mikey even more, but Frank and Ray both know that Gerard is terrified.





	I'd Cheat Like A Motherf*cker

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Hunger Games AU (in case you couldn't tell), it was inspired by that one tweet where someone asked Gerard if he'd volunteer for Mikey in the Hunger Games and he said "yes, and i'd cheat like a motherfucker" (that's where I got the title lol). Something about it caught my attention and I couldn't get the idea out of my head until I wrote it down. I figured I'd share in case anyone was interested, so please enjoy and let me know what you think! This is my first published fic, and actually the first one I've ever finished, so I'd love to hear any feedback y'all have for me.
> 
> update: I heard the song Big Casino by Jimmy Eat World on the radio and it struck me as really fitting for this fic, so i've added it to the beginning

_I'll accept with poise, with grace_

_When they draw my name from the lottery_

_And they'll say "all the salt in the world couldn't melt that ice."_

_I'm the one who gets away_

_I'm a New Jersey success story_

 

It’s the first year that Mikey is old enough to have his name put in for the Reaping, and Gerard tells him it’s fine, he almost definitely won’t be chosen. Gerard’s name has been in there for years and it’s never been drawn. He reassures them both because he knows he has to seem calm or else he’ll scare Mikey even more, but Frank and Ray both know that Gerard is terrified.

Mikey gets drawn for District 12. It's pretty much the worst moment of Gerard's life, seeing his little brother taken away from him and knowing he's probably going to die, so really he has no choice. He can't watch that happen. So he volunteers, and Mikey cries and begs him not to, and his parents are devastated, but the way Gerard sees it they'll lose a child either way and he'd rather it be him.

Somehow Frank of all people ends up as the other tribute, and this is the second worst moment of Gerard's life because he knows even if he makes it home alive he'll never see his best friend again. They both get up on stage and Gerard can’t look at him, doesn’t even want to acknowledge that this is happening.

Ray approaches them after the Reaping and hugs them in a way that says if it were up to him he’d never let them go. Frank is first, and Gerard isn’t sure if either of them says anything. There isn’t really much to say at this point. When it’s Gerard’s turn, Ray pulls him in and whispers “I’ll look out for Mikey, don’t worry about him. You just come back to us, got it?” Gerard wants to thank him but he can’t seem to make any sound past the lump in his throat, and anyway he’s sure Ray already knows.

The ride to the Capitol should be awkward, with both of them knowing they’re going to be enemies soon whether they want to be or not. But years of friendship don’t just evaporate, and Frank is still Frank and Gerard is still Gerard, and they decide that it’s still them against the world just like it’s always been.

When Gerard gets to the Capitol he sees all these wild hairstyles and colorful outfits and dramatic makeup, all the things he always wished he could wear but never got the chance because he was from District 12. He decides to have fun on his way to the gallows, so he asks his stylists to dye his hair bright red. Their mentor gets mad, saying it will be like painting a target on his back, all the other contestants will be able to spot him from a mile away. He thinks back on all the times he's felt like an outsider, felt mocked and alienated by other kids, wanted to be invisible and resented it at the same time, and he says "Let them look. It'll be the last fuckin' thing they ever see."

Gerard’s never been good with violence. He’s always been more at home making things than destroying them, and he’s never been able to stand the idea of killing anything, even animals. More than once he’s chosen to go hungry rather than eat what one of the hunters brings back, and he knows the same is true for Frank. But he thinks about Mikey, about him not having his big brother to look after him, and he decides he doesn’t care what he has to do to make it home alive. Yet despite the trainer’s best efforts he’s hopeless with weapons, and it seems like there’s no way he’ll last a week in the arena until the trainer loses patience and chews him out. He’s told if that’s the best he can do he might as well plan to hide and wait for everyone else to die first because he’ll never survive combat. That sparks an idea, and when Gerard goes to show the judges his deadliest skill he ends up asking them for paint and a forest backdrop and just paints himself to match until he blends in with the background. He may not be a warrior, but he is a damn good artist and he’s had a lot of practice being invisible.

The night before the games begin, he and Frank sit on the roof of the building where they’re staying and smoke cigarettes they convinced one of their stylists to sneak them.

“It’s not like we have to worry about our fuckin’ health,” Frank argues. “Don’t they believe in last requests in this city?”

As they’re sitting on the roof, watching the smoke curl up towards what could be the last stars they’ll ever see, Gerard asks Frank to promise him that if he dies Frank will make it back home.

“One of us has to come back alive. I don’t care if I die tomorrow, I’ve made my peace with that, but I need to know Mikey won’t be alone.”

He knows he’s lying about not being afraid to die. There have been times when it seemed easier than facing the world of the living, and this is one of them, but that doesn’t mean death doesn’t scare the shit out of him.

“Okay what the fuck man? How can you not care? You’re not gonna die tomorrow, first of all. And Mikey’s still got Ray, doesn’t that count for anything?”

“I trust Ray with my life, that’s not even a question. I know Mikey’s in good hands either way. I just don’t want our families to lose both of us, and we both know you’re more likely to make it than me. You can fight for your life if you have to. Mine doesn’t mean enough to me for that.”

“That’s such bullshit! Even if it doesn’t mean that much to you, it means that much to a lot of other people. It means that much to me, I’d kill whoever I had to to keep you safe. And what if I die first, huh? What then? How are you gonna make it home if you don’t care if you die?”

Gerard doesn’t say anything. He knows Frank is only angry because he’s scared, even if he doesn’t like to show it. He’s scared about tomorrow and he’s scared because his best friend seems far too apathetic about dying and he’s scared because he doesn’t know if it’s worse to get killed in the games or to win and have to go back home afterwards.

They finish their cigarettes in silence before going back inside to try to sleep. They were given separate rooms but they found the idea both laughable and painful, so they’ve been sharing since they arrived several weeks ago. After turning out the lights Gerard just listens to Frank’s breathing and tries not to think about all the other times they slept over in each other’s rooms, like their families and homes were interchangeable, like Frank and Ray were his brothers just as much as Mikey was. He tries not to think about how this is almost certainly the last time they’ll ever do this. He fails.

 

\----------

 

When they get into the arena the first thing they notice is that it’s bright. Way too bright. It’s a desert, with more sand than either of them has ever seen in one place and rock formations that would be gorgeous if they weren’t about to become a graveyard. When the signal goes off he and Frank leap into action with the plan they’d made last night, when neither of them could even pretend to sleep. They run in the other direction, together, as fast as they can, and amid the scramble for weapons and provisions and the shouts of tributes dying and the canons shots that follow they escape unnoticed.

Gerard is glad they didn't end up somewhere green, where his hair would be like a homing beacon. Instead it's even better than his brown hair would have been- it's faded to a medium orange, which matches the desert rocks nicely. They stumble across a few odd landmarks, like a rusty bicycle and a lone mailbox which looks bizarrely out of place surrounded by wasteland. The arena must have been designed to look like a place that was once inhabited, which is only confirmed when they run into what looks like an abandoned diner.

In addition to shelter the diner provides some canned food and water rations, and only then do they realize how risky their plan was and how badly it could have gone wrong. While it might have been smart in a forest or jungle, they didn't count on being in a place with no natural food or water sources. If they hadn't found the diner, not grabbing supplies from the cornucopia would have meant dying within days. As it is they last for a while, barricading the diner and setting traps in case anyone comes too close. They also find things like gasoline and rat poison, and other random junk like a boom box and some rubber halloween masks. They tell stories to pass the time, about the people and the town that was here before everything fell to ruin. They make up silly names for them, like Party Poison and Fun Ghoul and Mad Gear and News A GoGo. The viewers must like hearing them, because the gamemakers don't send any mutts or natural disasters to smoke them out, at least not for a while. The cannons go off outside, and Frank and Gerard hide in the diner, and every evening when the anthem plays they climb out to the roof to see the names and faces of the tributes who died that day.

When the gamemakers decide a change of pace is in order, Frank and Gerard find themselves under attack by a group of mutts. The creatures are vaguely human shaped, but chalky white with shaggy black hair and glowing red eyes and sharp teeth. They know their defenses won’t hold forever, so they start packing up as many supplies as they can carry and rigging the place to blow. There's a decent amount of flammable material around and Gerard has to admit he’s always liked fire a little more than is strictly safe, and Frank is fond of any idea involving danger and pyrotechnics. The prankster in him is excited to see how epically they can destroy the diner, even though it sucks to lose their only shelter. When the mutts eventually break in, they escape and light the place up. They stick around long enough to make sure the mutts burn up with it, then they move on. They've got to find somewhere else before it gets dark. They can't have a fire out in the open, and without one in the desert at night they’ll freeze.

The next thing they stumble on is what looks like the remains of some robot Goliath, its giant metal torso and skull half buried by sand. It's hollow enough to climb inside, and they transform it into both a shelter and another character in their stories. They're woken early in the morning by several cannon shots, and after mentally adding them to the running tally they turn to look at each other. The sickening feeling in Gerard’s stomach matches the bleak look on Frank’s face.

“We’re the only ones left, Frankie.”

It's barely above a whisper, but in the horrified silence it’s deafening.

 

\----------

 

"Mikey is my friend, and you're his hero Gerard! You think I can ever face him again after killing his big brother? You think I can live with myself after killing my best friend?"

"So I'm supposed to live with that instead? I won't do it Frank. I'm not leaving without you."

"Well I'm not leaving here without you either, so shut the fuck up!"

"You don't have a choice!"

"Don't I?"

Silence. Then, "what do you mean?"

And then Frank-- because he's Frank and he's full of wild ideas and he's never been one to go quietly-- Frank pulls the rat poison out of his pocket and holds it up so Gerard and the cameras can see.

"If you're not getting out of here alive then neither am I."

Gerard knows he'll do it. He is surprised to find that he's actually okay with that. Mikey will still have Ray, and he’ll still have Frank, in a manner of speaking. None of them have to live alone or die alone. It's the best option really. Just as Gerard takes the box from Frank and raises it to swallow a mouthful of poison he hears a voice come over the speakers.

“Hold up, stop right there! Ladies and gentlemen, we announce to you the winners of the 74th annual Hunger Games, Frank Iero and Gerard Way from District 12!”

Frank slaps the poison out of Gerard’s hand and it spills across the sand.

“Did you eat any of it?” Frank demands, but Gerard is too busy processing what just happened to answer.

“Gerard, did you eat the poison!”

“No,” he manages, looking around as if expecting another shocking twist. This can’t be it, there have never been two victors before.

“They’re just going to let us both win?” he asks, incredulous. It’s more to himself than to anyone else.

“They have to,” Frank says, with absolute certainty, like it was what he planned all along. Like he hadn’t been moments away from killing himself because it seemed like the only way out. “They have to have a victor or the system doesn’t work. Someone has to win.”

 

\----------

 

Epilogue

Gerard climbs into Mikey's bed, like he has every night since getting home. After thinking he'd never get to do this again, he's not quite ready to sleep alone yet. He's pretty sure Mikey understands. After all, Gerard isn't the only one who almost lost a brother.

Mikey is a light sleeper, which means when Gerard starts to have the nightmares Mikey usually wakes up and can snap him out of it before they get too bad. Frank is with Ray in the other bed, which used to be Gerard’s, and Ray is not a light sleeper but he's kinda like a giant teddy bear so it's pretty hard to have nightmares when he’s around. Overall it's a good arrangement, although as far as they're all concerned any arrangement is alright as long as it's the four of them.


End file.
